Another One Bites the Dust

Thursday 04/14/2005 5:37 PM

Today is a sad day in our household because the last two Miami Subs restaurants in Tallahassee are closing today. We have spent thousands of dollars at these restaurants over the last 12 years and will sorely miss them. Other restaurants in other towns are still going to be open — just not any of ours. Last year, all the Miami Subs stores in town got bought out and the new management came in and fired all the good workers and changed the daily/weekly specials (no more 25 cent wings on Thursdays!) that had been around for years.

Miami Subs always made your food fresh, had a great overall selection (especially since adding Arthur Treachers, Nathans and Kenny Rogers Roasters to the menu a few years back) and, in my opinion, offered the best buffalo wings in town. Now the purists will tell you that buffalo wings are not supposed to be breaded, but that is how Miami Subs did 'em and they were great. I like them so much in fact that yesterday (33 cent wings on Wednesdays) I bought 100 and threw them in the freezer. Well, most of them anyway.

So now I must sadly add the Miami Subs buffalo wings to my list of food I miss. I've shared this list with some you from time to time over the years. I love food and once I discover something I like, I stick to it and get quite aggravated when it's not available anymore.

So with no further ado, here is the list (in no particular order):

T.G.I. Friday's Buffalo Sauce for Boneless Buffalo Chicken Strips
Last year (2004), Friday's changed their buffalo sauce to some kind of buffalo/barbeque combination which is an insult to both flavors and, frankly, an abomination before God, herself.
Diet Balanced Chocolate Royale
Discovered these just before the low carb craze started. I loved these things, chocked full of vitamins, low calorie and they tasted great. Then they released the low carb version which was (and still is) a bland bastardization of the taste I loved.
Cascadian Farm Japanese Noodles
Delicious and ultra low calorie (less than 200 calories) frozen food. All vegetarian. You wouldn't want to eat these everyday, but a couple times a week is very doable.
Chocolove Dark Chocolate Small Piece Mold
Sometimes the smallest changes make all the difference in the world. Like powdered sugar versus normal sugar. Chocolove changed the mold for their chocolate bars so instead of getting about forty small, sharp-edged, rectangular peices, you got about 12 large, square-shaped, smooth pieces. Don't like 'em anymore — they just don't feel the same in my mouth. Like a lot of people complain (or praise) about sushi: it's all about the texture.
Red Lobster Original Caesar Salad Dressing
For decades, Red Lobster had the same delicious caesar salad dressing that tasted like nothing you could find anywhere else. Then a couple of years ago, they changed it. That, in and of itself, was cause enough for alarm. Then they replaced it with a weak, average, mediocre caesar dressing that tastes (at best) LIKE EVERY OTHER GENERIC CAESAR DRESSING. So lemme get this straight, you dumped one of the truly uniquely tasting aspects of your menu in exchange for something that is just like everybody else? Idiots.
Julie's Place Sweetened Caesar Salad Croutons
Don't be grossed out — this actually works and makes all the difference in the world. Julie's Place is a local restaurant and, for a while, they had the most delicious caesar salads with sweetened croutons. The chef made them himself and the touch of sugared croutons added just the right shot of pizazz to an otherwise ordinary caesar salad. Then one day I go in just for the caesar salad and, all of a sudden, it's ordinary. No sweetened croutons. I ask, "Where are my croutons?" and the waitress explains that not only did the chef recently die, but since his death, no one knows how to make the sweetened croutons. True story.
Western Sizzlin Unbreaded Buffalo Wings
A couple years before they closed, Western Sizzlin had the best buffalo wings ever on their buffet. Yes, even better than the Miami Subs wings I've praised today. Then, all of a sudden, they stopped carrying them. Did anybody die? No. Did a new owner take over and change things? No. Did someone sue them because their life became dull and meaningless once they had experienced the outstanding renaissance of flavor from Western Sizzlin's unbreaded buffalo wings? No. Here's the deal: They stopped carrying the wings on the buffet because too many people liked them and were eating too many off the buffet. That's right, a restaurant that is in the business of selling food decided to stop carrying a food because too many people were coming to the restaurant to eat it. It never occurred to them to stop carrying it on the buffet and sell it as a separate menu item (they sold lots of steaks and chicken filets off the regualr menu — this was not a buffet only place). Idiots.
Boulder Potato Company Malt Vinegar & Sea Salt Potato Chips
Less than a month after I discovered these mouth-watering chips, the company changed the chip cut and style, the packaging and the entire experience of eating these chips. I promptly stopped buying them just as quickly as I had found them.
Olive Garden Asparagus Risotto
Some of you have read my essays extolling the virtue of risotto. This is what got me started on it. This was a special menu item Olive Garden ran for about six months. After the first couple of tastes, I started ordering just the risotto by itself (it was a side item on some chicken dish). Great stuff.
Om Land & Sea Sandwich (Roast Beef with Lobster Mayo)
Om was this little restaurant, coffee house and nightclub on North Monroe street. Friends and I often frequented The Om (as we dubbed it) for their outstanding avant garde sandwiches. The Land & Sea was a roast beef sandwich with homemade lobster mayonnaise. Those of you who know me well should be sufficiently impressed that I ate this because I abhor mayonnaise. But this sandwich was manna incarnate.
Om Turkey Gouda Sandwich
Another great sandwich from The Om. Turkey with gouda cheese and some field greens. My buddy Lou and I would often get one of each of these two sandwiches and each of us got a half. Great lunch. Om has since become an awesome little pizza shop called Decent Pizza with slices as big as your head and the greatest selection of toppings in the world.
Various Steak & Ale Menu Items
There are still Steak & Ale restaurants all over the country — just none in Tallahassee, Florida anymore. Their steaks are good, but I also like the Hawaiian chicken and the stuffed grouper (or was it flounder?). We enjoyed many a holiday meal there in November and December.
Semolina Raspberry Dijon Chicken
Semolina was an upscale fern bar on the north side of town. They had lots of great gourmet-ish entrees, but the Raspberry Dijon Chicken was The Bomb. Those who know me well should be impressed as I generally dislike mustard on anything (except sardines, of course — thanks, Dad!). Many was the night that Candy and I would get a couple orders of the Raspberry Dijon Chicken to go.
Tallahassee Mall Food Court Grill Hot Dogs
This skanky little lunch grill only lasted for a couple years at the Tallahassee Mall, but they made the best hot dogs. After cutting the dogs open, they'd fry them on their grill and then serve 'em on toasted buns. Salty and outstanding.
Bruno's Supermarket Soy & Basil Steak Marinade
Many years ago, Bruno's came to Tallahassee and kicked Publix's butt all over town with their top notch quality and upper middle class shopping environment. People got dressed up to go to Bruno's. It couldn't survive though and now all the Bruno's are Publixi (my sad attempt at pluralizing). Bruno's had a great house brand of marinade and Candy made me dozens of soy and basil ribeyes.
Barnes & Noble Coffee Shop Split Pea Soup
Most (all?) B&N bookstores have coffee shops and they used to carry a particular brand of soup whose name escapes me at the moment (have it bured in my e-mail archive somewhere). Their pea soup was the best, and it got to the point where my decision to go to the bookstore would rest entirely on my advance phone call to the B&N cafe asking if they had pea soup that day or not.
Healthy Choice Chili & Cornbread Bowl Creation
One of the greatest frozen foods ever made. Tasty chili (not too spicy) with sweet cornbread and only about 350 calories. Beans are good for you (well, most of you), tomatoes are good for the guys (helps fend off the prostate issues), the complex carbs are filling and, darn it, this just tasted great. More than once, I'd complain to a stockboy when they were out only to have him tell me they couldn't keep them in stock. So what does Healthy Choice do? Dump it. Idiots.
Eggo's Oat Bran Waffles
If you like waffles, you haven't lived until you've slathered an oat bran waffle in butter and drowned it in maple syrup. These things are awesome! Good luck finding them though. I've called Eggo and they insist they still manufacture them, but no grocery stores in Tallahassee will order them for me. Maybe some of my friends in other parts of the country can help me out! You're gonna have to overnight them to me and be sure to give me a heads up first.
Ben's Diner Mashed Potatoes & Gravy
Short-lived (less than a year) restaurant in Tallahssee when I was in college. My girlfriend worked there for about a month. The mashed potatoes were to die for. And the beer boiled hot dogs were pretty good too.
Applebee's Ham & Cheese Boboli
I probably wouldn't like these now, but as a teenager I really dug 'em. A boboli is a hollow disc of bread, like a pita but bigger, thicker and more yeasty. Applebee's would fill it with ham and cheese and cook it up. Fantabulous!
Maxie's Burgers and Stringy French Fries
Once upon a time, the muses granted inspiration to mortal man to create a line of drive-thru hamburger stores unlike any ever seen before or since. Thus was Maxie's willed into existence, but you know that whole bit about the brightest candle burning out so quick. After too short a time, Maxie's was assimiliated by Rally's and now (and since) they suck. Maxie's had the best french fries ever — shoe-string thin and extra greasy. Their burgers were top-notch as well.
Miami Subs Breaded Buffalo Wings
Best breaded buffalo wings, hands down. 'nuff said.

Leave it to me to make my longest post ever about food.

File Under: Food; Food I Miss; Rant
Music: Giuseppe Verdi "Il trovatore"

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