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Breaking News: Satan Creates New Circle In Hell

Friday 08/12/2005 9:33 AM

There have been rumors for decades that, once upon a time, the United States Navy trained dolphins to be kamikaze bomb carriers. The Navy has steadfastly denied these claims, explaining that due to the high cost of training the dolphins, it just wouldn't make sense fiscally. For a military famous for its overpriced hammers and toilets and million dollar missles, this defense rings a little hollow to me. None-the-less, the rumors have never amounted to more than just that — rumors.

But now let's talk about another issue, which is based not on rumor, but sad fact. Your Link of the Day is an article on the LA Times web site explaining how the insurgents in Iraq have started using dogs to deliver bombs against U.S. and allied forces. Here is an excerpt:

In a war where the line between civilian and soldier is blurred, even man's best friend has been caught up in the combat. U.S. forces hail their trained dogs as heroes, but to insurgents, canines provide the means for a more sinister goal. Iraqi police cite the recent use of dogs rigged with explosive devices in Latifiya, just south of Baghdad, in Baqubah in central Iraq and in and around the northern city of Kirkuk.

Despite a common prejudice in the Muslim world against dogs, which are considered unclean, even the most virulent clerical opponents of the U.S. presence in Iraq have decried the use of canines as proxies in the war. Abdel Salam Kubaisi, a spokesman for the Muslim Scholars Assn., a hard-line Sunni Arab clerical organization sympathetic to insurgents, called the practice un-Islamic. "Our religion does not permit us to hurt animals," he said, "neither by using them as explosive devices nor in any other manner."

Heart breaking. I guess that after the word got out that the insurgents were turning people into suicide bombers without them knowing that they had to start figuring other ways to deliver their bombs.

After a carfeul review of Dante's description of the nine circles of Hell, it's only right for Old Scratch to get his contractors working on number ten:

I can't help but be reminded of the movie Se7en and the part where Somerset (Morgan Freeman) is talking to Mills (Brad Pitt) about their quarry:

Just know that in this case there's not going to be any satisfaction. If we caught John Doe and he were the devil himself, if it turned out he were actually Satan, then, that might live up to our expectations. No human being could do these things, right? But, this is not the devil. It's just a man.

In the immortal words of Stan Lee: 'nuff said.

Link of the Day: Servants — and Weapons — of War

File Under: Crimes Against Humanity; Dog News; Link of the Day; Quote of the Day
Music: Various Artists "Desert Blues 2"

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